“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry."But he said to them, "Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven."
For a long time I thought of the last paragraph talking of monasticism (which is true in the italicized words) and placing it above marriage. And whenever someone said that monasticism is just another possible way, equal to marriage and not superior to it, I always thought the real thought behind it to be: “Yes, monastic life is tough and you’re not strong enough, so I’m just trying to comfort you.” And I think I’m not the only one who thought or thinks that way.
Today I read an article that actually states the opposite. The words “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given” are actually a response to the disciples’ marvel on difficulty of being married and keeping it whole. Indeed, the marriage can be difficult; so difficult that it’s not for everyone and for someone it’s better to stay unmarried than to take on this responsibility, the vows and the crown, and then fail miserably and torture your spouse and children.
If you think of it, men may have got a tougher job in the marriage, even though people sometimes think that obedience of wives makes the relationship unbalanced.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... (Ephesians 5 - 22:25)
Men are called to love their wives and little churches (families) same way as Christ loves the Church: meaning not ruling over it, but first of all complete sacrifice, even unto own death.
Having been married for 38 years (not in a row), and knowing quite a few monks I'd say "the grass is always greener..." But I'd have to say marriage and family is the harder of the two. That's why there are more monastic saints than married ones. :)
ReplyDeleteGood point! Maybe, also, married people have more humility (resulting from the life with another human), so their sainthood is better concealed from the monastics, hence less married saints? ;)
ReplyDeleteFather Steven, I've been following your podcast on AFR for a while. It's interesting to see you coming to my blog now - how did you come across it?
Hi Sasha, I'm just a subdeacon, not "Father". I follow a few blogs and I like clicking on the blogs that they link to in their sidebars or in the posts. I read the post and check the archives and if I like what I read I bookmark it and check in on it once in a while. There's a lot of interesting people out there and I get inspirations for my blog from reading other people's thoughts a lot of times.
ReplyDelete