Thanksgiving

Father John said yesterday that out of 10 lepers healed by Jesus 10 were healed physically and only 1 was healed completely, meaning: spiritually too. Why? Because he came back and Thanked. Thanksgiving.

The woman who was sick, paralyzed for 18 years and could only see earth, not heaven. She was healed by Jesus. Our souls are tied to the ground, paralyzed. We need Him to heal us. Completely. Thank the Healer for what He has done, and He’ll do even more. Don't do that to get the result, but be thankful, out of love. Blessed be the Lord!

Arthur Christmas (?)

Watched "Arthur Christmas" yesterday. I'd say it's a great and very funny cartoon, but one thing keeps me from signing that statement: it's, you know, that great Christmas tradition - all about presents for kids. Isn't it beautiful? Like there was no Christ born.

new martyrs

Seems it's very easy to become a martyr even these days... although, that shouldn't be a surprise. Now we have new saint Ayman. But must be really tough for his parents...

http://bikyamasr.com/47299/coptic-boy-killed-by-classmates-in-egypt/

diary

Last week my son and I received our blue belts (8th kyu) in karate - Kanreikai, derived from Kyokushinkai. The test was very challenging to me, and I could see my son really trying to do his best, genuinely concerned with the outcome of the test. Around the same time my daughter conquered 2 techniques in her gymnastics classes with which she struggled for months before. That was a week of small but serious victories for us.

This week Kira was born to us, and she is a lot of joy to us all. Our oldest daughter N is very happy to have a baby sister and now opts to stay home instead of spending time with favorite friends, because she wants to be next to Kira as much as possible, sometimes holding the baby in her hands and beaming with joy. :)

And my son - well, he's a boy: he has his things and games to do, too busy to concentrate on a baby (who only eats and sleeps) for too long. :) And he also likes listening to T-Rex, The Knife and Einstürzende Neubauten.

"but by Me"

Many people tend to believe that many religions are just different paths to our Creator, and we just choose the path that feels like ours. I can't agree with that, never could. If we trust Christ, we have to trust His every word, and here's what...

"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by Me." (John 14, 6)

Those underlined words are what causes me to disagree. He's not one of the ways, not even the best of the ways, but the only way.

On the other hand, we can see traces of the same Wisdom in different teachings - in Buddhism or Hinduism, for example, just like in Judaism. Why is that? I feel, just like Romanos wrote recently, those are just different versions of Old Testament, given to different peoples according to their context and culture. But Old Testament is not enough for salvation, it's more of preparation to the Real Thing, or words of advise on how to "survive" until the Real Thing comes in.

I also heard an opinion that it's nonsense to preach Christianity to, for instance, Buddhists, since their beliefs existed long time before Christianity was born. Well, the same could be said about Judaism. But again: those Old Testaments were not enough, even though they are huge, definitely not man-made. Yet, Christ is needed to complete the healing of the human's separation from its Creator.

concentrate on the current step

Yesterday, after the (karate) class, our hanshi (head teacher, the dojo's owner) talked to us a bit about pushing forward when it's difficult. We had an endurance class and that included a few very intensive rounds when everyone comes to the point of failure - but has to keep going. He said we shouldn't allow ourselves to think of the body, of how tired we are, of how far the goal is. Don't look at the far goal all the time, he said. If you're walking up the mountain to the summit, don't look at the top, especially when you're tired - it's so far, it'll discourage you and you won't go/get there. Instead, make the steps, one after another, concentrate on the current step - and that way you'll get there. Don't look back either, as that may bring memories of past failures - and they don't matter, what matters is what you do now. What might also help is thinking of the next activity that is exciting, or of a reward awaiting us after we've done this current tough part. He learned it from the Japanese culture and his teacher during his decades in karate.

This life is tough at times, and we all have to be warriors deep inside to survive and succeed at our responsibilities along the way.

Merton

From Wiki:

Throughout his life, [Thomas Merton] studied Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, Jainism and Sufism in addition to his academic and monastic studies.

He believed that for the most part, Christianity had forsaken its mystical tradition in favor of Cartesian emphasis on "the reification of concepts, idolization of the reflexive consciousness, flight from being into verbalism, mathematics, and rationalization." Eastern traditions, for Merton, were mostly untainted by this type of thinking and thus had much to offer in terms of how to think of and understand oneself.

Merton was perhaps most interested in - and, of all of the Eastern traditions, wrote the most about - Zen. Having studied the Desert Fathers and other Christian mystics as part of his monastic vocation, Merton had a deep understanding of what it was those men sought and experienced in their seeking. He found many parallels between the language of these Christian mystics and the language of Zen philosophy.

I can't believe a man like Merton wouldn't be aware of Orthodoxy. Did he fail to see in it that which he sought? or do we fail to live what we believe, thus people don't see it?

Poor guy... he was so close to it - and looked the other way. Or, perhaps, that was his path to our Lord.

a guest is coming

Well, we're preparing for a guest here: Irene is coming, and her eye is going to pass 10-20 miles from us according to the news and weather forecasts. I'll try to post something here as soon as she leaves (and we have electricity and internet connection back). Please pray for us! if we don't show up for a few days - possibly for repose. :)

Pink Panzer

We’re watching the “Pink Panther” cartoons these days – the old ones, from 60’s. Kids are having a lot of fun with them, and we enjoy that simplistic animation and funny stories also. Yesterday I was baffled though when we watched the “Pink Panzer” episode, because as we were watching it I first thought of “Screwtape Letters” and then realized that it’s a simple explanation of “Unseen Warfare” at children’s level. Definitely wouldn’t expect that in those simple cartoons from 60’s... That episode made it very simple to completely deliver the idea to my kids as I was putting them to bed, although before I didn’t even think it possible to explain it to them before they get significantly older.

Here it is: The Pink Panther 011, Pink Panzer

visit to Greek monastery

Went to St. Nektarios’ Greek monastery this weekend. Somehow it was not easy for me this time: had to push myself with effort through the services, as opposed to the previous trips when I was carried “on wings” of the Meeting, silence, chanting and prayer. Yet, other things (some meetings and conversations) proved to be edifying for me and thus I believe the trip brought me what I needed at the moment – some re-inspiration at least.

Someone told me a recent story. An orthodox priest was driving from Nevada or Arizona to California. He was driving on an empty road in the middle of the desert, nothing and no one around. At some point of his journey he saw a man waving at his from a distance ahead, and the priest stopped thinking that probably someone has a broken car or something like that. The man that stopped him, with long hair and beard, said something along the lines: Father, I need you to hear my confession. The priest, surprised with what’s happening, heard the confession, and that man then thanked him and walked away – back into the desert.

Now, would you expect something like that in America, in the 21st century? I honestly would not. Yes, I know, there is Father Ephrem’s monastery in Arizona’s desert, but... unknown hermits, guided to find the priest like that? I thought such stories belong only to the ancient Paterikon or “Orthodox countries”, such as Mount Athos/Greece, or Russia... Glory to God in His saints!

P.S. Also, saw many cats.

too blind, need help

Was listening to Dylan yesterday ("Slow Train Coming"), and these words stuck with/in me especially:

Shine your light

Shine your light on me

You know I just couldn’t make it by myself

I’m a little too blind to see

Love Dylan.

"Texas death row killer forgiven by shooting victim"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-14199078

"Haikus for Jews"

While I was reviewing some of my old notes, I remembered I read this book quite a few years ago, titled "Haikus for Jews" by David Bader. Here are some notes I made at that time.

From preface:

"Perhaps the most brilliant poet of the Jewish haiku was Sheldon "Sashimi" Lepstein, according to his mother. [...] Some of his finest efforts were even more pointed and concise than traditional haiku, such as his searing one-syllable poem, "Oy!" and his two-syllable epic, "Gevalt!". He is perhaps best remembered today for the melancholy haiku:

No fins, no flippers,

the gefilte fish swims with

some difficulty."

And now - from the book itself:

The same kimono

the top geishas are wearing -

got it at Loehmann's.

"Can't you just leave it?"

the new Jewish mother asks -

umbilical cord.

Sorry I'm not home

to take your call. At the tone

please state your bad news.

The Jewish New Year -

in Times Square, no ball is dropped.

Where is everyone?

preemptive prosecution

I’m reading an article in “New York” magazine current issue about US’ “secret prisons”.

“Since 9/11, the FBI had begun relying more heavily on informants, under a controversial policy of preemptive prosecution – taking down those thought to possibly become terrorists in the future.”

Emphasis is mine.

This is very disturbing. It is very similar to the Soviet years when just anyone could suddenly become “an enemy of the state” and end up executed or imprisoned for life. And all of this based on a suspicion. It’s happening in America right now – different time and different place, but people spend years in prisons, separated from almost any communication. Right now they are targeting Muslims, but anyone could be next, anyone they may want to “take down” for any real reason. Christians, for instance, were blamed many times in the history, just to find a formal reason persecute them. Beginning from the first big persecution when the great fire in Rome was blamed on Christians.

granny

My grandmother had grown up in a Jewish village in Ukraine, but she’s never been a believer. She’s about 90 years old now and in a way is becoming like a child. Two recent conversations with her have amazed us.

Once, I was talking to her on the phone after work on the way home. I was telling her of some plans that we have and then, half-jokingly, asked her whether those plans are ok? Whether she’s like it this way or that way? And she said: “I want you to do as you wish. And what I have to do – is just to love you.”

And another time my mom/her daughter was talking to her. My granny was telling of this and that happening, and concluded with the words: “whatever happens, we should say: glory to God!”

I know of one Jewish man who said – and wrote – the same. He lived roughly two millennia ago and his commemoration day is today. My granny has never been a believer. Or has she? I believe and hope for our Lord’s mercy to such children of His.

spiritual kung fu

We watched the new “Kung Fu Panda” with kids this past Saturday. Sequels are usually not as good as the original films, if not plain bad. This one surprised me in that respect, as it turned out to be deeper than the first cartoon. The message was toward those who got stuck with their past – what they did or experienced in the past – and can’t move forward. Approximately this: the past doesn’t define you; what you decide to be from now on – that’s what defines you. Isn’t that repentance, metanoia, the change of heart? the resolution to do good and reject the temptations to sin?

Two things I heard over the last few days had removed the veil from my eyes, at least relatively, and let me see the Light. One of them is what Romanos wrote: “God is not angry with you”. And another one is from the cartoon. Right on time, as I was preparing for the confession. I was definitely stuck with the multitude of dark things in my past. I needed someone to show me the way, again. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for You never leave me, even when I think I left You. Thank You for the messages You always send me through Your other children.

“Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice! Christ is risen, and life reigns!” And we’re free to go forward to the Light and be the light, the choice is ours – between that and looking back like Lot’s wife and staying stuck.

"found them asleep again"

While reading the Gospel yesterday morning, I was startled by these words:

"And He came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy. And He left them, and went away again..." (Matthew 26:43-44)

They made me concerned. He surely found me asleep again, many times, and recently too. I woke up. How do I get Him to come back? I was in panic.

And then later that day I read the answer:

"Ever since the time of your forefathers you have turned away from My decrees and have not kept them. Return to Me, and I will return to you, says the LORD Almighty" (Malachi 3:7).

Repentance, metanoia is the second birth, or rather 3rd birth – 2nd baptism.

back from Orlando

Yesterday we came back from Disney World in Orlando. It was our first trip there and everyone loved it. Certainly, we spent a lot of money there – the food is very expensive and we bought some toys/presents, not to mention the hotel and the park tickets – but the kids were so happy there that sometimes it was very emotional to me too. Even my wife said she felt like a child at a great celebration. True, it’s a huge commercial machine, but they do make it look like it’s a huge celebration, with music, parades, balloons – and you’re in the midst of it, part of it. We certainly feel we’ll go there again some day.

There can be many stories told, but one of them is funny. We were in the Animal Kingdom theme park and we took an African Safari ride: we rode on a big bus with a roof but no windows through a large land with African animals. Some of them came pretty close to the bus but most were pretty distant. When we just passed the lion... the bus broke down and came to a stop. So, we were waiting for the mechanics to come over and fix the problem. The lion was sleeping first (and my son mentioned that lions go for a looong sleep after a good meal), then raised his head – maybe because of our smells staying there for too long. Then he got up. I thought he’s probably thinking whether we’ll still be there by dinner time. People on the bus were nervously joking and laughing. Someone mentioned other buses are stuck behind us because our bus has blocked the road, so we’re safe since those others are closer to the lion. Then someone noticed a couple of vultures circling above us, and then more and more vultures came in. It was fun! until the mechanics came over and ruined it by fixing the bus.

rhinos

My son has been thinking over the last few days how he could make some money. What for? To send it to the rhinos in Africa! He recently learnt in school that they're almost blind, so bad sight they possess, and because of that it's more difficult for them to survive. So he's been worried about them and wanted to help these poor guys to buy glasses.

He's so pure and sincere... his love embraces all living creatures in the world, and not just in theory - he wants to act! I want to hope he's inherited that love from Him Who is Love. And I so want him to keep that inheritance...

man killed

I realize I may be wrong here, but today's news kept me thinking... why such rejoicing over someone's death? Whoever and however bad he is/was, this just doesn't sound right.

Violence in response to violence - will it really bring peace? or just more violence? I'm pretty sure in the latter, and especially with Muslim extremists in the equation. Someone said: "an eye for an eye" will only result in a world full of blind people. But then, this is no simple situation... can't just keep giving people like him the other cheek and watch him kill more neighbors.

Yet, Christ came to save sinners, like me and Osama. Or that man whom Christ judged to enter Paradise with Him.

Poor guy... look at young Osama, what a hell he created for himself - what joy he could have had instead!

(from BBC News)

that's life

On Bright Monday I visited the Russian parish I used to be part of years ago. I like to go there from time to time - mostly to see the priest again, as he's a very dear person to me.

Matushka told me a story of a 7-year old boy who attended the first Paschal Liturgy this year, and he said: "It was the best thing I have seen in my life! It was like I spent a day in Heaven - because that's what Heaven is: everything is beautiful and full of joy." I wish my experience was the same; although it was joyful, but definitely not to that extent. Probably need to become like a child first.

And the priest told me a story of their son who is no finishing his college education. He served in the altar since his toddler (or at least childhood) years, and moved out to another state to go to college. They recently found out that he had drinking and smoking problems, and then met and married a Muslim girl and is a Muslim himself, too. He told his parents of him leaving Christendom recently, and now rejects to even talk on this topic. They saw their daughter-in-law a few months after the marriage was done and are now trying to re-build the relationship.

That's life.

But Christ is risen! and their son was baptized and communed a multitude of times - that can't go without a trace, and I'm sure the grace is at work to bring him back - at the proper time. It's probably going to take a lot of time, patience and prayer. And - who knows? - maybe it'll bring both of these young people into the Church after all. Lord uses even our bad decisions to our good.

Got me extra-worried about my children anyway.

Paskha

Last week was rainy and a bit cold - seemed like the nature joined the sober sorrow and lamenting of the Church going through the Holy Week. On Saturday evening suddenly outside temperature started climbing up causing a lot of fog as we were driving to and from the church, and the rain that was in the forecast somehow did not come. And the most important Sunday of the year was mostly sunny and really warm, even hot when I played with kids under the afternoon sun.

Christ is risen!

the fruit

For everyone of us there will come a moment when the Lord will come to see what fruit the land (body) we’re given has produced. It will come, just a matter of time. It could be very short time, not just in some distant future. And I hope to hear on that day: “enter thou into the joy of thy Lord (Matthew 25:21), I have called you friend (John 15:15)”, not “let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever (Matthew 21:19)”.

Have to be prepared, always ready.

simply natural

It is Saint Anthony the Great, I believe, that is known to have said that he’s worse, more despicable than all other creatures, for they act in accordance with the nature they have been given, while he, owing to his innumerable sins, is in a state contrary to nature. I tried to find that online and found a similar saying attributed to Saint Gregory of Sinai. That is true humility: true knowledge of oneself, as opposed to persuading oneself of being bad.

I am blessed by witnessing natural humility for quite a few years now, and I’m in awe. This person has not read the fathers and would not be considered an ascetic or a prayer person (although she is, although in a different, special away), but she more than once said, in sincerity and simplicity, that “this cat” or “that hamster” or all animals in general are better than us, they don’t need to be saved for they’re sinless. She stated, just with different words, the same thing at which those great fathers arrived after years or decades of struggle, prayer and ascesis.

She also at some point expressed a genuine surprise at a possibility of (me or anyone else) being proud about doing something good, or not even good but simply reaching a new level of success in something. Be it feeding a hungry person or progressing to a new level in gymnastics, for example. In all cases, we’re given the ability and the possibility to do that. Given. Not everyone is born with a good gymnast abilities. Not everyone is shown a hungry person, cause we’re all in different situations at all times; and not everyone is given the money or the food that he could share. So, if you’re given all that – it’s not an achievement, it’s a gift. What’s there to be proud about?

And it’s one thing to agree with this logically and remember this sometimes, inducing this type of thinking; and another thing – to always feel this way, seeing the world this way.

That person is my dear wife, who is, hopefully, not reading this blog post. Although it would not hurt her, since she’d think of these things as given. But I doubt she’ll even think about these things, since seem as simply natural to her, and they are. It’s amazing to see this integrity, this God-given health of the soul. And that’s why I’m in awe, and in love. :)

Nick Cave

On the way to work listened to “No More Shall We Part” album by Nick Cave. He used to be a punk, but with the age he came to Christ and is quite different now. But what I can hear in his later music is really the same as from the older days: a crying soul, beautiful and innocent as a child. Often aching, ill, sometimes angry, but still beautiful in its sincerity, searching and longing for its Creator.

Lord, stay by me
Don't go down
I will never be free
If I'm not free now

Paskha is coming.

just ask

My son D. (6 years old) asked me this weekend what the war is and why such things exist. I said that it’s basically when someone wants something that he doesn’t have and the others have it, so he attacks (and even kills) those others to get that thing. He was very sadly amazed and, after being silently grave for a couple of seconds, quietly said: “That’s not nice. They should just ask.”

Isn't that so? Made me smile and my eyes wet.

Met. Anthony

An excerpt on the life of Met. Anthony of Sourozh from "Remembering Metropolitan Anthony".

Few bishops were more accessible to their flock, but this sometimes had comical results. When one parishioner rang to say that “Peter” had died and asked for prayers, Metropolitan Anthony immediately complied, then asked when the funeral would be. “Oh, there won’t be one,” he was told. “We flushed Peter down the loo.” Peter turned out to be a parakeet.

http://thechildrenofgod.blogspot.com/2011/04/metropolitan-anthony-of-sourozh.html

“We should try to live in such a way that if the Gospels were lost, they could be re-written by looking at us.”

– Metropolitan Anthony of Souroz

Maugham, Claiborne

My mom read a short story by Somerset Maugham titled “Rain” and asked me to read it too, as she wanted to discuss and share thoughts on it.

I heard from someone the story was anti-Christian, and also that Maugham was a “militant atheist”. In the story he depicted a missionary on his way to some distant islands and exposed the ways he employed to bring Christianity to people. For instance, the missionary and his wife saw dancing as a root of many sins in the aboriginal culture and decided to uproot it. So, they introduced the new law: whoever was dancing – could not sell whatever he made to make living. And thus they reached their goal: no dances anymore. Well, they certainly got rid of some joy in the aborigines’ lives and caused some suffering, but, looks like, failed to bring Love and Faith in.

Well, if that’s the only version of missionaries Maugham met in his life – I’m not at all surprised he was so anti-Christian. In fact, this book is not against Christianity but against what people made of Christianity. And think of that example: can’t trade if you don’t obey… isn’t that reminding of something? Reminded me of the book of Revelation: “and that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name” (Revelation 13:17).

His masterpiece is Of Human Bondage (1917), a semi-autobiographical novel about an orphan brought up by pious relatives. In that novel the author’s surrogate, Philip Carey, "looked upon Christianity as a degrading bondage that must be cast away at any cost".

(from Free Thought Almanac)

Not surprising to me. The version he saw was really wrong.

On the other hand, here's something that Christian were and are missing - this Shane Claiborne know what's talking about. We shouldn't be fooled or turned away by his manner of speaking, he's talking about a very important thing, a necessary thing – the actual love, not just emotional love.

We need to act.

Australia

Recently I saw a web page that lists "the world's 10 best cities to live in", mostly pictures, not much text. Whatever characteristics were the basis for that selection, I noticed half of those cities were in Australia.

During the weekend, jokingly, I mentioned that to my wife and suggested we should move there. Nice new place and culture, and we don't really have to learn a new language - what can be better? She said something along the lines of "no way, I can't think of moving even to a different state!" Then I asked my daughter whether we should move to Australia, expecting her adventurous spirit would make her excited about it. She said plainly: "no". Then I pretended to be disappointed and said that whatever the men decide - will be the decision in our family. Thus, I asked my son whether we should move to Australia, and he said "no". Why? "Because I want to finish my elementary school where I am now." Ok, I said, we can wait a bit and then move. And he said: "no, we're not moving anyway".

That's how I'm loved in my family and how much respect my thoughts receive. We all had a good laugh. :)

(from "A photo a day")

Psalm 8

Every time I read Psalm 8, I fall in love a little more with its poetry - and with our Lord - again.

O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens...

When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?

angry at myself

Jesus, our Creator and our Savior, 2,000 years ago came here and showed us what a human is meant to be/become - that is, become like Him in many ways. Why do we get stuck at just trying to be saved, in other words - merely "passing the test" instead of going for A+ level (not the grade, but the level)? I think, not trying to become what He wants us to become is an ungrateful insult in response to what He has done for us. And I'm not talking about succeeding at that, but really trying, with all heart, mind and body. "Yeah, I know what You mean, Jesus... but living this cozy life, with all the tasty food and funny TV shows, and trying to sin a bit less is all I'm willing to do." That's what we're saying to Him with our actions and inactions. Yes, He'll forgive us for that, too - that's how He is; but with what eyes will we look at Him? oh, shame...

I was reading the passage on the Transfiguration today, and it suddenly came clearer, stronger in my mind. I know a pries who a few years ago on the Transfiguration feast day instead of "Blessed Transfiguration to you, friends!" said "Transfigure, friends!"

HTM: first day of the Holy Lent, slideshow

(click on it to visit the slideshow page)

rejection

It is very worrying to me: to see someone fighting against the life events as they come, saying with words and actions: “I don’t want this!” Can’t judge that person of course, but such rejection terrifies me. I believe it’s a lot worse situation than most other sins, if not all. Even when falling into as serious as adultery, the person would feel regret for doing so quickly after the act. But rejecting His will (incarnate in the events and circumstances) puts one into the position where repentance is not possible and His helping hand is automatically rejected. In such situation what’s left is only waiting it out and praying about the person to change the attitude.

people

Lately I've been thinking a lot about different people I have/had known at different stages of my life. They were so good... I think I'm becoming old and sentimental. :)

But people, real people we meet are among the biggest gifts given to us in this life, as well as treasures of the Church.

vineyards given to people

During the sermon last Sunday father John recalled the parable about the vineyard which the Householder gave to people, and when He expected to receive the fruits those people didn’t want to give anything away, as they now thought of the land and the fruits as theirs, and they even killed those whom the Householder sent, including His Son. (Matt. 21, 33-41)

I think, usually that’s understood as an address to the Jews who were a chosen people and didn’t yield the fruit, killed the prophets and the Son of God. But father John brought it into personal context this time: my body is the land given to me temporarily, and at some point I’ll be asked to present the fruits. Keeping that in mind should definitely help making right choices while the body is mine to use. I hope I'll use that help...

someone is after me?

I got a call from a recruiter on Tuesday. He called me at home and left a message for me while I was at work. In my industry, new jobs are very often found through these recruiting agents. His name is (I’m changing his first name to respect his privacy) John Smith. So, now I can honestly say that I got a call from the agent Smith.

friends

In my son' school they gave a little concert yesterday night for the parents and families: they sang a few songs with a little bit of music (piano) accompaniment and lots of waving of hands. It was definitely very cute, to see all those little monkeys gesticulating and singing about Peace and Love.

Two days before that he asked me to come to the concert; he really wanted me to come. I said I'll surely come as long as I can come from work on time. Thanks to our Lord, I was on time. But when he asked me to come I thought and felt: it is so precious that he needs me! that it's important for him that I come and see his performance. And it will probably pass: kids grow up and they want to spend time with their friends, not with parents. Sure, they'll still depend on our support: providing shelter, food and clothing for them, and driving them to places. But right now, in addition to that, they need us; not just all those things we do for them, but us!

A few months ago we were doing something together, my son and me, really enjoyed being together. And for some reason he was moved to say, that I'm not just his daddy but also his friend. It was like... being in love with someone, and then suddenly they say they also love you. I was swept off my feet by that little statement, overwhelmed and wanted to cry. One of the most precious moments in my life. I thought: what loving and caring parent wouldn't dream to be a friend of his/her dear child? That's a kind of achievement, although easy to lose, and a high plank to keep at. Hopefully, I'll still be among his friends in the years to come, and even in eternity.

I told him I'm not just his father, put in charge of him, but also his brother - because we have the same Father. He loved the idea when he realized that's how it is. So, I'm his brother, just a little older, and I'm placed next to him to love him, care for him, help him, and we'll grow together and go through life together. It is precious to hold his hand in mine as we keep walking, both physically and metaphorically.

Misha Maslennikov

I know a man... We're not really friends, but we have known each other for a number of years through a Russian blogging community. He's a very good photographer, as for my taste, and also a traveler through "unknown Russia". This online collection contains some of his photos, and those of other people.

http://flickriver.com/groups/unknown_russia/pool/interesting/

"I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me..." (Psalm 23, 4)

By a chance, I got to our Community Orchestra concert yesterday, mostly classical music. Michael, my co-parishioner, was part of it - he plays cello - and I learned of the concert in the church. I'm glad I went, the orchestra did a great job. Out of what they played, 2 pieces were very special to me. Even though their "topics" were different, I listened without looking at the titles.

First one reminded me of Palm Sunday: the trombones (and maybe other instruments) were playing a middle-eastern melody, which triggered me to think in that direction. Generally the music was joyous and sunny but with some worrying, trouble interwoven deep inside.

It turned out to be "Dance Bacchanale" by Camille Saint-Saens.

Then there was couple of pieces where two trumpets solo'd, but those didn't stick with me: either the trumpets were confused, or I simply was not on the right wave for that music.

And then came the piece by Stravinsky which just blew me away. It started very grave and sorrowful, and I thought: this sounds like the Holy Friday. But then somehow it turned into hope, and then into joy which sounded to me like Pascha. It moved me to tears. It's called "Berceuse and Finale" and I found a good recording here, but of course it's not the same as listening to this live in a concert hall.

Closer to the end came a piece by Tchaikovsky, and the beginning was a fantastic moment: it was a beautiful instrumental version of "Thy Resurrection, o Christ, our Savior..." And what better day for this than this Sunday before the Lent starts? But I can't say I enjoyed what came after the opening: it was doubtlessly great music, but after living through Stravinsky's transition I just experienced it sounded too light for me, disconnected from the meaning of the beginning.

Well, let's begin our journey to the Holy Paskha, and hope we come a little closer to glorifying Him with pure hearts.

"to make a good beginning"

While reading the Gospel couple days ago, I suddenly stopped at these words:

Then began He to upbraid the cities wherein most of His mighty works were done, because they repented not:
Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes.
(Matt. 11, 20-21)

I always read these words as directed to those 2 cities, or to cities in general. Never thought they could be directed to persons. That is us. Me.
He has done so much for me, and even Himself dwelt in me many times – through the Holy Communion. I could say I’m grateful and believing, but how could I still sin in my acts and thoughts? Not just by failing to be vigilant and attentive to details and thus allowing myself to go wrong way because of the carelessness, but sinning knowingly and willingly... What kind of gratefulness, belief and love is that? Is this true repentance - metanoia, change?

This people honoureth Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me.
(Mark 7, 6)

Woe to me... No wonder this particular one of the 24 has always struck me:

O Lord my God, even if I had not done anything good before Thee, do Thou help me, in Thy grace, to make a good beginning.

Lucy

On Sunday morning, our daughter N. was the first to wake up. She found Lucy, our dear hamster, dead in his cage. She found him stiff and with open eyes, and she was a bit scared. She cried over him many times that day.

We suspect Lucy had kidney problems and became the cause. If that was the case, couldn't do anything about it, really... He was a very friendly living being, liked to be in our hands. Very lively (except when he slept) and funny (even when he slept). He gave us many joyous moments, and smiles, and laughs. Vera came home from her trip just in time: she had one more chance to hold and pet him. I wonder whether he was in pain at that time, and whether Vera's attention eased his toil, or he couldn't really notice the care anymore.

I'm troubled to think that he ceased to exist. Can't get my mind around that. Does he/did he have a soul? if so, was it really mortal? Can't be. This tiny beautiful little creature was so pure and sinless.

Winter diary

Last Sunday father started the sermon on the Gospel reading (about the “Canaanite woman” – Matthew 15:21-28) with the words “Today’s Gospel reading finds Jesus on vacation...” We all laughed, and he explained: Tyre and Sydon were about 200 miles away from Jerusalem, on the sea shore – sounds like a good “getaway”, to have some rest... but it did not work out: that woman found Him even there. :)

Of course, that was just the beginning of the sermon. I love how father can make the sermons informal, and at the same time he makes them simple but reaching deep, touching the heart and inspiring to [try to] be worthy of God’s love towards us.

I also read an article on a Russian web site – someone’s short recollections on metropolitan Anthony Blum. It is always touching to read about him or especially his words. In this case a little note that father Anthony wrote to the author of this article was cited:

“Rejoice in that you’re dear to God. And, as much as you’re capable, do what you can to make Him glad.

May the Lord and the Theotokos keep you safe.

M. Anthony”

P.S. We’ve had a lot of snow and rain with cold weather lately, so here’s what you’d see through our windows these days:

Those are icicles, yes. Now they’ve grown longer and you wouldn’t see the lower ends through the window unless you came next to it.

Let us pray like the “Canaanite woman” that Christ thaws those icicles that have grown on our hearts. The Spring is coming. It starts on March 7th this year.

"The Miracle Maker"

We are being snowed in again - yesterday and today. Schools are closed, I'm working from home, and kids are here too.

Yesterday evening, using the chance for kids not to be in beds on schedule (for the next day early waking up), we watched "The Miracle Maker". Have you seen it? I love this animation, Vera loves it, too. My daughter N. watched it before, and my son D. (he's 6 now) did not, or maybe he did but he was to small to understand or remember anything from it. I believe, yesterday became a special day in his life. I realized, whatever he knew of the Gospel story didn't really stick with him, some things he remembered but, looks like, didn't really think it's a real story, not fiction. As he watched this animation, he asked many questions, which revealed that; but they also revealed a genuine amazement and interest in what was going on. He asked many time whether what's being shown at the moment was a real event. He became worried and nervous as the events developed; he had a lot of pity toward Jesus as He was betrayed, beaten, mocked, crucified. He even cried. And he experienced his share of amazement and joy as Jesus re-appeared again, alive and loving.

We had and have a little Paskha now. :)

P.S. And here's a picture from Brooklyn, NY, of my friend, father Vadim, blessing the local waters (Atlantic ocean, all of it) on Jan 19th:

(from: http://o-v.livejournal.com/53189.html)

"A Bodhisattva saving people on a Belgian tram"

Smile. :)

Platina, CA

Many of us know of the monastery at Platina, CA, where father Seraphim (Rose) lived while here. Someone I know recently visited it and posted pictures from it. There's a bit of text there, but it's in Russian - thought it wouldn't become an obstacle to enjoying the photos.

http://o-alexij.livejournal.com/84024.html

http://o-alexij.livejournal.com/84478.html

http://o-alexij.livejournal.com/84625.html

Fr. Seraphim's cell

New England winter

Winters in New England seem to go long period with no snow at all, and then a major snow storm comes in and we're all stuck at home for a day or two. Glory to God for our advances in science - we at least know when they're coming. Well, we just had a couple of those storms and here's a pile of snow, one of many built by snow (re)moving machines in our condo complex. You can see my daughter on top of it.

And today the story is very different: snow and rain, instantly freezing into black ice. We'll see whether we can get out by tomorrow.

life is beautiful

Once I and my friend/co-parishioner Joseph (we’ve known each other for a few years) went to the Greek monastery of St. Nektarios for a couple of days. The monastery has a little hotel for visitors on its grounds, but it’s a popular place and there were no rooms available. So, we rented a room for two of us in a motel nearby – just to spend the sleeping hours there and go back to the monastery in the morning.

As we arrived at the motel reception, we were both asked to sign in. The gentleman at the desk asked my name and wrote it down. “Your first name?”, he inquired. I said, “Alexander”. Joseph’s eyes became wide as he said: “your name is Alexander?” The man writing down my name stopped and looked up at us, 2 men who rented a room in the motel to spend one night there, very curiously. I explained to Joseph that “Sasha” is short version of “Alexander” in Russian. I guess I never had a chance to mention that before. That was a great moment. We smiled thinking of how it can be perceived.

Then it was Joseph’s turn to sign in. “Your first name?”, asked the gentleman at the desk. “Richard”, said Joseph.

“You’re Richard?” was my bewildered response. I’ll let your imagination go free with the face expression of the clerk.

“Richard” turned out to be his legal first name, while “Joseph” is his baptismal name and that’s how people in the church know him.

We proceeded to the room.

P.S. The monastery and the visit were great, but that's a whole different story. Life is beautiful.

"Multiplication and God"

My son D is 6 now. He's a loving and lovable little guy, and in his school he found the same type of girl G, and they are great friends, even calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend.

They are also both chatterboxes and love talking when they're together. They also like to walk hand in hand or even hug each other, for which they were warned by the teacher more than once. We, knowing it, tried to softly explain it to him that it's not proper to do such thing in school.

One day Vera was in school for parent-teacher conference and D was standing next to her, when G was walking buy - swiftly hugged him to the point of him squeaking and then went on. At that point D said to Vera: "See?! she does this to me all the time!" Poor guy can't understand what is wrong with this. :)

Recently G's mom and Vera were talking, and G's mom told that she was talking to G about talking to D too much in school. And G replied: "Oh, but mommy, I love him so much!... And besides, do you even know what we're talking about? Multiplication and God!"

P.S. Some time ago I was doing something with D, and he said that I am his friend. And this was & is so terrific and touching, it brings tears to my eyes every time I recall that, even now. It's a precious memory.

will a prayer be heard?

Pharaoh entreated, saying: "May God take away from me this death" (Exodus 10:17), and he was heard.

Similarly, when the demons asked the Lord not to cast them into the abyss, their request was granted (Luke 8:31).

How much more, then, will a Christian be heard when he prays to be delivered from spiritual death?

St. John of Karpathos

( from http://stisaacthesyrian.com )