"Haikus for Jews"

While I was reviewing some of my old notes, I remembered I read this book quite a few years ago, titled "Haikus for Jews" by David Bader. Here are some notes I made at that time.

From preface:

"Perhaps the most brilliant poet of the Jewish haiku was Sheldon "Sashimi" Lepstein, according to his mother. [...] Some of his finest efforts were even more pointed and concise than traditional haiku, such as his searing one-syllable poem, "Oy!" and his two-syllable epic, "Gevalt!". He is perhaps best remembered today for the melancholy haiku:

No fins, no flippers,

the gefilte fish swims with

some difficulty."

And now - from the book itself:

The same kimono

the top geishas are wearing -

got it at Loehmann's.

"Can't you just leave it?"

the new Jewish mother asks -

umbilical cord.

Sorry I'm not home

to take your call. At the tone

please state your bad news.

The Jewish New Year -

in Times Square, no ball is dropped.

Where is everyone?

back from Orlando

Yesterday we came back from Disney World in Orlando. It was our first trip there and everyone loved it. Certainly, we spent a lot of money there – the food is very expensive and we bought some toys/presents, not to mention the hotel and the park tickets – but the kids were so happy there that sometimes it was very emotional to me too. Even my wife said she felt like a child at a great celebration. True, it’s a huge commercial machine, but they do make it look like it’s a huge celebration, with music, parades, balloons – and you’re in the midst of it, part of it. We certainly feel we’ll go there again some day.

There can be many stories told, but one of them is funny. We were in the Animal Kingdom theme park and we took an African Safari ride: we rode on a big bus with a roof but no windows through a large land with African animals. Some of them came pretty close to the bus but most were pretty distant. When we just passed the lion... the bus broke down and came to a stop. So, we were waiting for the mechanics to come over and fix the problem. The lion was sleeping first (and my son mentioned that lions go for a looong sleep after a good meal), then raised his head – maybe because of our smells staying there for too long. Then he got up. I thought he’s probably thinking whether we’ll still be there by dinner time. People on the bus were nervously joking and laughing. Someone mentioned other buses are stuck behind us because our bus has blocked the road, so we’re safe since those others are closer to the lion. Then someone noticed a couple of vultures circling above us, and then more and more vultures came in. It was fun! until the mechanics came over and ruined it by fixing the bus.

Australia

Recently I saw a web page that lists "the world's 10 best cities to live in", mostly pictures, not much text. Whatever characteristics were the basis for that selection, I noticed half of those cities were in Australia.

During the weekend, jokingly, I mentioned that to my wife and suggested we should move there. Nice new place and culture, and we don't really have to learn a new language - what can be better? She said something along the lines of "no way, I can't think of moving even to a different state!" Then I asked my daughter whether we should move to Australia, expecting her adventurous spirit would make her excited about it. She said plainly: "no". Then I pretended to be disappointed and said that whatever the men decide - will be the decision in our family. Thus, I asked my son whether we should move to Australia, and he said "no". Why? "Because I want to finish my elementary school where I am now." Ok, I said, we can wait a bit and then move. And he said: "no, we're not moving anyway".

That's how I'm loved in my family and how much respect my thoughts receive. We all had a good laugh. :)

(from "A photo a day")

someone is after me?

I got a call from a recruiter on Tuesday. He called me at home and left a message for me while I was at work. In my industry, new jobs are very often found through these recruiting agents. His name is (I’m changing his first name to respect his privacy) John Smith. So, now I can honestly say that I got a call from the agent Smith.

school girls & boys

Last year, my daughter was in 3rd grade and often had home work from school that directed her to tell about something she did or some family activity, and then to also describe her feelings about that. Sometime she was even given a hint on what to talk about. Looks like she just often lacked fantasy (on a given topic) and the events she mentioned were dull, so she just tried to use the keywords she picked up in the assignment itself. As a result, some very funny statements came out, such as:

“It was cold in the morning and I dressed warmer. I was amazed that I dressed warmer.”

or

“Last weekend we went to a grocery store. I was tickled pink by the fact that we went there.”

Now that Vera is student-teaching, she brings home funny stories from the other side of the elementary school scene – that is, as a teacher. She was explaining to a girl, an ESL student, the word “slug”. What we all learned that day, by the way, is that “slug” is not only a noun but also a verb, and with a very unexpected – compared to the noun – meaning:

strike heavily, especially with the fist or a bat; "He slugged me so hard that I passed out"

(according to Princeton’s online dictionary)

So, once the girl looked like she understood the word, she was asked to produce some phrase using the word. And the phrase was:

“He punched me like a slug.”

So, Vera has her funny moments at school, and she brings them home. And I tell you – we were all laughing as if punched by a slug.

And my son just turned 6. We started celebrating the weekend before that - with our kids' grandparents. Then we celebrated in just our immediate family on the actual birthday, and we also plan to celebrate with kids – his friends – on Saturday. I guess it confused him a bit, since I heard him saying to his friend on the actual b-day:

"Today is my birthday! and on Saturday I'll turn 6."

It's fun to have kids!

Share your stories?

not afraid

We're using some eye drops on my son D, he's almost 6 now. We just started with those drops and initially he was afraid they'd sting, so he wouldn't let us drop them in his eyes. Tonight he bravely said: "We're going to use those drops again, right? I'm not afraid anymore, did you know that? I'm only afraid first time. Although I might forget that..."

As my wife said, it is easy for little monkeys to forget.

P.S. I guess, we're well versed in "Curious George". Years of reading that pay off.