Pink Panzer

We’re watching the “Pink Panther” cartoons these days – the old ones, from 60’s. Kids are having a lot of fun with them, and we enjoy that simplistic animation and funny stories also. Yesterday I was baffled though when we watched the “Pink Panzer” episode, because as we were watching it I first thought of “Screwtape Letters” and then realized that it’s a simple explanation of “Unseen Warfare” at children’s level. Definitely wouldn’t expect that in those simple cartoons from 60’s... That episode made it very simple to completely deliver the idea to my kids as I was putting them to bed, although before I didn’t even think it possible to explain it to them before they get significantly older.

Here it is: The Pink Panther 011, Pink Panzer

"Anthem"

I recently read a book: "Anthem" by Ayn Rand. It is amazing how people just have to do the same mistake over and over again, starting with Adam. Why not learn from mistakes of others?

The books describes an anti-utopia. People live in a society where single person's thoughts or desires are given no importance and even prohibited; it's collectivism of the Soviet Union, only hyper-ed, of course. People are named with a combination of a few names (such as Solidarity, Brotherhood, Revolution, etc.) and number, for example Equality-1579. And when they speak or think of themselves - it's alway "we", not "I". The main character of the book learns of how sick it is though he was brought up in that society and knows not of anything different. It's liberating and exciting experience... but it brings to an ugly result (which the author clearly does not see as ugly). Here are some excerpts from the last pages of the book, and they were painful to read:

Whatever road I take, the guiding star is within me; the guiding star and the loadstone which point the way. They point in but one direction. They point to me.

I know not if this earth on which I stand is the core of the universe or if it is but a speck of dust in eternity. I know not and I care not. For I know what happiness is possible to me on earth. And my happiness needs no higher aim to vindicate it. My happiness is not the means to any end. It is its own goal. It is its own purpose.

I owe nothing to my brothers, nor do I gather debt from them. I ask none to live for me, nor do I live for any others.

And to earn my love, my brothers must do more than to have been born. I do not grant my love without reason, nor to any chance passer-by who may wish to claim it. I honor men with my love. But it is a thing to be earned.

And I shall choose only such as please me, and them I shall love and respect...

Then I shall build a barrier of wires around my home, and across the paths which lead to my home; a barrier my brother will never be able to cross.

... As I stand here at the door of glory...

And now I see the face of god, and I raise this god over the earth, this god whom men have sought since men came into being, this god who will grant them joy and peace and pride.

This god, this one word:

"I"

My home will become the capital of a world where each man will be free to exist for his own sake.

The sacred word:

EGO

Oh, how ugly and sick this is...

As Father Stephen carries through, the human is not supposed be be alone, and the salvation is not personal. The whole mankind is one body and needs saving/is being saved by our Christ. Too bad Ayn did not, as it seems, learn this during her lifetime here. I hope she does learn it "up" there and it's not too late for her, somehow...

As an atheist who rejected faith as antithetical to reason, Rand embraced philosophical realism and opposed all forms of what she regarded as mysticism and supernaturalism, including organized religion. Rand wrote in her journals that Christianity was "the best kindergarten of communism possible." Rand also argued for rational egoism (rational self-interest), as the only proper guiding moral principle. The individual "must exist for his own sake," she wrote in 1962, "neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself."

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayn_Rand)

Let us love and follow Christ, forgetting ourselves and serving others.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)

Blessed Nativity to all!

some photos from the past

Today, on one of the blogs I follow there was a photo posted from past student life, and it triggered some memories for me. This is 1996, my 4^th/5^th years of college.

children of God

Today the birthday of the Mother of our God is celebrated by the old calendar parishes. We belong to a new calendar parish, so we celebrate Church holidays with the parish. But this day is special for us because our daughter N was baptized on this day, so it is her second birthday, too - and possibly that was the present from the Mother of all Christians.

On Sunday, father John said sermon that really touched me and somewhat corrected my approach to things. I needed some time to comprehend it, that's why I did not write about it earlier. The words I'll express the idea with are not the same he said; this is more of the way I've grasped it:

"Stop thinking of what you could/should be (meaning the ideal of a saint) and remember instead what you are. And you are son (or daughter) of God, and very loved one by the way. So, live correspondingly to that, and you'll be/become what you should be without even thinking about it."

Friday, death, life

Before Thy Cross we bow down, O Master, and Thy holy Resurrection we glorify.

A few days ago we read in the news that the Electric Light Orchestra’s former cellist Mike Edwards was killed in a “freak collision”: he “was driving a van Friday when he collided with a 600-kilogram (1,300 pound) hay bale that had rolled down a hill to the road”. The expression “freak collision” implies it was an accident, coincidence. But I don’t believe in coincidences. I heard people say that coincidence is another name for the hand of God, or that coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous. I agree. And I think if He takes someone out of his life, that means the person is ready at that moment, or that, if left here, the person will get into such sin that his eternal life will be affected very badly. And there are, I’m sure, other possible reasons.

On the same day my father told me a story that his mother told. It happened in her childhood. I don’t know how old my grandma was at that time, and I can’t ask her since we’re temporarily separated by death, but I’m sure she was well under 10. One day she visited another girl, her friend, to play with her, and as she walked in that friend was eating. The girl was surprised and glad to see my young grandma and she made some exclamation sound, which sent the food in her mouth wrong way, and in a couple of seconds she was gone from this life. I don’t know what my grandma felt at that time (and later), but probably sadness and guilt of being the cause of this “premature death”, even though involuntarily. But I was also surprised by my reaction to hearing this tale: I was instantly glad that the girl was taken away from here in her early years, when she can’t yet be really responsible for her misbehavior as a child and thus is guaranteed to be saved. It may sound strange, I understand, and I can’t be sure how I’d react if something similar were to happen to one of my children, but that’s how I feel. That’s my take on it: “better safe than sorry”.

We were walking at the cemetery as my dad told me that story. We love cemeteries: they are peaceful and often beautiful, and somehow help to pray. Looking around at the tombstones, my dear wife Vershka said that she doesn’t want that kind of stone. So, in case she’s the first to go, I’m supposed to find a shapeless rock from the ocean/sea beach and make that her tombstone. And she wants her LiveJournal avatar on it:

I think if we were there, under that tombstone, together – we could use this one instead:

But Vera loves my current avatar which you see in this blog, so I guess that’s it. Now, she seems to be pretty much at peace with the idea of dying. She probably is only worried about kids staying here without her care, but other than that – simply accepts it. Same here, I’m worried about kids, although should I be? is it really me, and not Him, who’s taking care of them? But anyway, I’m not so much at peace. Relatively – yes, but not completely. Although I do believe in our merciful and loving God, I also know my life so far has not been that good. And I sincerely don’t know if I even started to really repent. So, there is something I’m worried about.

Lately there were so many reminders of the death... At least three people I know, one of them being very close friend of mine, are struggling with cancer. One of them, my parents’ friend, internally gave up, slid down into depression, but I know the priest visits him often and he receives the Communion – that’s a relief. But another one of them – my friend – is optimistic; he has clear ideas of what he’s going to do when (not if) he recovers – and that, I think, is huge in itself.

So, all that constantly brings my thoughts to this topic. But “remember that death is not the end” (© Bob Dylan), and...

Christ is risen!

invisible motorcycle, visible youth

I have a friend whom I consider my sister. We went through a lot of things together: a hippy type of youth, then coming to Christ (she was a bit ahead and I was in a way following her), and now being parents. She lives in Ukraine, in the same town where our youth had been. Very kind and beautiful loving soul.

that’s him and my son this past July

Her son, who’s about 10 years old, and her nephew, who is himself now going through his similar type of youth/college years, are also my friends, very dear to me. Both are talented musicians and artists, and their fantasy, it seems, knows no limits. Often it seems they also have enormous amount of spare time on their hands. Today they posted this “video” they made – it is not really a video file but an image that is composed of multiple frames, so called “animated GIF”.

this file is 2MB, so it may take a short while to load

When I looked at it and realized how they did it I was amazed with the amount of effort put into the making! But I’m sure they both had a lot of fun doing it and even more fun showing it to friends now. So, I just wanted to share this experience of youth with you.

blogging, weekend

The idea of blogging is not new to me. I've started blogging over 8 years ago as some of my friends introduced to me a huge Russian community blogging and interacting on LiveJournal. I took a deep dive, started making friends and writing on different topics that were of interest to me: music first of all, and the books, movies, and simply about my life. At that time I was at the doorstep of the Church and did not know it yet. Soon I came in contact with Orthodoxy and started learning the basics of spiritual life. That significantly changed my priorities and also my behavior. I quickly realized that all or most of my online writings were at least idle talk, and often with a lot of vanity behind the subject or style of my postings. Thus, I removed almost all my previous blog posts and from that moment limited myself to only certain topics which to me seemed useful. That gradually changed into a blog that mostly consists of quotes from the Fathers of the Church or contemporary books and articles on the Christian topic (99% in Russian). Over the years I probably made literally a handful of personal posts - where I was actually telling something about myself or events of my life. (Although, I was reading other Journals and talking to people in the comments to those, so during these years I connected with a lot of good people and made a few of very close friends, for which I'm very grateful.)

On the contrary, this blog is intended to be personal. That doesn't exclude some quotations, but it's really going to be about me, my family's life, and some personal thoughts too, as this is a type of diary. In that respect, this new beginning is really somewhat unfamiliar ground to me.

So, to begin that, I'm going to tell you that this weekend my childhood's dream has finally come true. I'm the only child of my parents, no siblings, and I wanted to have a little sister when I was a boy. I asked my parents for that but somehow that didn't happen for a long time... And now, 3 decades later, my mom has become a God-mother of a little girl Anna, whom I now like to refer to as my God-sister. :) Of course, I'm partly joking; but on the other hand she is my sister, my God-sister, as we have the same Father.