We celebrated the Exaltation of the Cross yesterday, as our priest is not available to do it tonight/tomorrow morning (he has to work). My son was unusually behaving well, so for me the Liturgy also had a better, deeper impact. The Gospel reading and the sermon after that were also on the topic of the Crucifixion. In the end we all, taking turns, bowed down and venerated the Cross, while everyone was singing “Before Thy Cross...” Overall experience felt strongly like Holy Friday and Paskha at the same time, although to me it felt more like Holy Friday.
The weekend before this one my daughter agreed with our choir director to try and sing with/in the choir. She told me that and I was surprised, I had no influence on that at all. I don’t what’s going to come out of that, as N might simply not be able to follow the melody or especially the notes, but I’m glad anyway since that means a deeper involvement for her, serving in her way, and also eventually better understanding of what’s going on. Yesterday after the brunch we were supposed to be in the choir rehearsal for the first time, they’re usually short – under half hour. But N was not there for it, since she was at the parade. Our choir director Alice invited me anyway. We started kind of late and I was the only one, so that rehearsal turned into a personal singing lesson. I have some basic understanding of the notes which helped, but we worked a bit on letting my voice work as I was restraining it being simply shy and not having a habit of singing loud, especially in the church. And we sang “Lord have mercy” and “Receive the Body of Christ...” in ways new to me, very beautiful as long as I don’t ruin it. I was still singing on the way home with my son in the car, but once I was distracted by some other singing – I couldn't sing those melodies anymore: I stared at the notes and could not remember at all how they are supposed to sound. :) But that’s ok, we’ll pick it up again next Sunday, I suppose. I’m still not sure though whether I want to sing in the choir. It takes attention to follow the notes, which to me means it takes attention away from prayer. I don’t like that. But maybe that’s only in the beginning, while the melodies are new to me and I’m not singing them automatically. Well, we’ll see. Even if it’s for N to be more involved, I’m willing to do it, at least for now. And, in addition to that, the choir needs more voices, so maybe this is my part in serving our Lord, worshiping and glorifying Him.
P.S. Did you know that in Russian "Sunday" is "Voskresenie" - the same word as "Resurrection"?
It sounds like the service was beautiful. I won't be able to make it to our service, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteI understand your mixed feelings about being in the choir. I trust God will lead you to the right decision.
Thanks for the Russian vocabulary trivia. :)
Are the songs themselves not the prayers to God?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am happy for N and for you. :)
Sis
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The songs *are* prayers, yes, but there are 4 voices in the choir singing different parts simultaneously - and you have to follow your line, not someone else's. That grabs your attention, diverts it from actually praying - directing that song to Him instead of just singing correctly. Plus, at least in the beginning, you have to follow notes until you remember your melody by heart.
That's why singing *in* the choir worries me. Singing *with* the choir (as part of the congregation, because almost everyone sings in our parish) is different.